Dear 2009 me…

So it’s been popular lately to post a before/after of the last decade as we round out the 2010’s (that feels weird to type!). There’s something so striking about these images and the transformation that can occur over a decade, but it also had me wondering about how these people had changed mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually over the last ten years. You know, it’s on the inside that counts and so on and so forth, yada yada.

Well I can’t ask everyone that because people tend to think it’s too personal, so I did some self reflecting. At this point in 2009, I was a senior in high school. My hair was bigger, my waist was smaller, and I would say that I was only moderately satisfied with my life. There was a lot I was about to embark on and what a wild ride it’s been. So here goes…

Dear 2009 me, 

High school sucks. Mom was right when she told you not to peak yet (you haven’t, don’t worry). The rumors, the friendships, the betrayals – they feel like a lot now but soon they won’t matter. In ten years, everyone will be on the same playing field and no one will care anymore about who partied and who didn’t and who was “cool” and who wasn’t. It’s pretty nice, actually. You’ll discover that for the most part, everyone turns out to be a pretty decent human being.

I’ve got a secret though… pay special attention to the cute red head that is about to waltz into your life. Well, I already know that you DO pay special attention to him, but enjoy the moment. He’s going to set your life on a completely different trajectory. Hint, hint: you aren’t going to study theater in college and you will end up living down the street from mom and dad. As much as you think you’d like to live as far away from them as possible, this is much better.

These next ten years are going to be really difficult. Long distance relationships, ministry, loss, heartache. But it will change you. You will no longer care about things that you don’t need to care about. Your perspective will be eternal and that will be difficult at times but amazing at others. You will be angry at God (often) and He will always be with you. You’ll learn that He does give you more than you can handle and sometimes things don’t happen for any reason other than we live in a broken world.

The road to becoming a mom will look different than you want it to. Even after you have two precious girls in your home, your heart will ache for the babies who aren’t with you. You’ll learn about things like infertility, miscarriage, prematurity, and the NICU – words that I don’t think have every really crossed your mind.

Like I said, these next ten years will be one hard thing after another. But you’ll also learn what true unconditional, sacrificial love looks like. You’ll find amazing friends who rally around you. You’ll gain a husband that spoils you by doing things like cooking and cleaning the house. One day, ten years from now, your miracle two year old will grab your face, look you in the eyes, murmur a bunch of nonsense and give you a big sloppy kiss. And the rest of the world will melt away. Oh how wonderful these last ten years have been.

Here’s to the next ten.

xo, Rachel

P.S. Here’s my ten year comparison – oy!